Friday, December 4, 2009

Etiquette Expert: save-the-dates & holiday cards?

Reading through The Brides Guide a few days ago, Talley Sue Hohlfiend, Etiquette Expert, posted on a question that has been bothering me for some time now.

Can you mail your save-the-dates along with holiday cards?

Here’s what she said:

As the year-end holiday season arrives, the tradition of sending Christmas cards (or holiday/New Year cards, for those who don't celebrate Christmas) is upon us. For brides marrying in the spring, now may be the time to alert family and friends to the exact date of your wedding.

Can you save a stamp (and avoid writer's cramp) by tucking your save-the-date inside your holiday card?

Would it surprise you to hear me say, "Yes"?

I would advise strongly against slipping the rehearsal dinner invite in with the wedding invitation, and thank-you notes for wedding gifts shouldn't be doubled-up with other tasks. But save-the-dates are not "official" wedding correspondence, and so I don't think they should be viewed as anything but casual correspondence. (Save-the-dates occupy this weird territory between "a personal letter" and "a formal invitation" and "a mass-mail flyer." And so the rules for save-the-dates are being written in the here-and-now.)

In fact, in the old days (oh, like more than 15 years ago), people didn't send save-the-dates. They'd simply write in the appropriate Christmas cards, "Our wedding date is June 23rd; mark your calendar!"

I’m happy with this response, especially since I know how painstakingly long both save-the-dates and holiday cards can take. Use this one to your advantage ladies!

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1 comment:

Beth said...

this is a great idea ... or another eco friendly option would be to email the save the dates out instead of mailing them! saves stamps and paper :o)